The Happily Ever After

Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, The Beauty and the Beast… I’m a girl — a girl who loves fairytales and love stories and the end of the movie/book/song when the prince sweeps the girl off her feet and they know without a doubt that the two of them are meant to be together. I’m a girl. What can I say?

But a long time ago I found something out: the story never ends as long as I’m alive. The truth is, I’ll never have that happily ever after they write about. Sure, maybe one day my prince will come and sweep off my feet (probably ten or so years from now :p ). And maybe for a little while it’ll feel perfect. Like a fairytale. But my happily ever after won’t come. Not like one would think, anyway.

1 Peter 4:12 says, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.”

But it doesn’t end there. It continues. “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24)

One day, my King will come. He’ll say, “Abby, you’ve done all you can in this world.” And then He’ll sweep me off my feet and carry me to His castle, and finally I’ll know that there is nothing to fear anymore. Ever. No more tears, no more trials. No more death, no more anger, no more sorrow or pain. Finally I’ll be home, safe and sound with my King of Kings and Prince of Peace. And THERE, I’ll live happily ever after. Chase your dreams, be optimistic, even, but don’t expect a perfect life. The princess always has to wait for her prince, and when He comes, you’ll know without a doubt that your home.

Voices Unheard

Stop and listen for just a moment. What do you hear? Silence? Media? Laughing? Crying?

I hear voices. A thousand voices, a billion voices. These voices are quiet. In fact, they are barely audible to the ordinary ear. Together, they hum out a song of life, of love, of pain. Each and every one of these voices tells a story — a story of a life and a voice unheard by so many.

They tell the story of a teenager who once knew no sorrow, but now turns to pain for escape.

They tell the story of a man who only wanted happiness, but now strives to feel content in a world of money and goodbyes.

They tell the story of a woman who could never see the reflection in the mirror like everyone else could, but saw only the models and the movie stars and the fake beauty of all those other women.

They tell the story of a little girl who grew up never knowing love, and who now throws her heart at every offer because she can’t stand to be alone with herself anymore.

They tell the story of a boy who never had a father worth looking up to, so he turns to other things to make him feel like a man.

They tell the story of someone who once had Faith, and hope, and love, but gave it all up for a short-lived satisfaction.

They tell the story of a world in pain.

They tell the story of brokenness.

And they tell the story of so many broken hearts and lost souls who can’t find worth. Or hope. Or healing.

But there IS healing. Healing from these stories and so many more. Healing from past shame and sorrow and insecurity.

I challenge you to not only hear those voices, but to LISTEN to them. Because each of those voices is connected to a living, breathing soul, and every soul is worth so much more than they know. Their souls are worth the King of the world coming into a life of pain with the purpose of showing mercy, teaching love, and dying to bring redemption for sins and healing for brokenness.

And maybe — just maybe — if someone stopped to listen to those voices and to love those souls, they would no longer have to hum their song, because they would finally hear the truth.

The truth that they are loved.

And beautiful.

And wanted by Someone.

The truth that they can be healed.

The truth that will set them free.

Sworn with Blood, Fulfilled with Life

“I’ll always be here for you”; “I’ll always love you”; “I’ll come back, I swear.”

She’s heard it all before. Every word, every promise – all empty. Careless. They never meant what they said. If they meant it, then where are they now? Why haven’t they come back? Why did they abandon her?

Now, there was a time when she actually believed them. How could she have believed them?

They were empty words, empty promises. All of it. And she hates them for it.

But she still misses them. She misses what they used to mean to her. She misses how they used to make her feel okay. She misses how they used to make her laugh, how they used to really care. Once they had cared.

But now they’re gone. Gone forever.

They broke her heart, and now she’s left – alone, terrified, rejected. And she’s almost done. Almost finished with everything this world has to offer.

She’s ready, and she’s giving up tonight.

 

But if only she knew that there is one who promised. There is one who cares. There is one who loves here more than anyone else ever could. There is one, but he didn’t promise with empty words. He promised with an act – an act of love. An act that gave the world hope. He promised with his blood, his wounds. He promised with his life. And he fulfilled that promise.

There is one who will always be with her, who will always love her, and who will come back for her. He won’t leave her in this empty world – if only she would come to him.

Even in her brokenness, even in her shame, even in her sorrow and hatred that the world cast upon her. If only she would come to him.

~

“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to

sins and live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.”

1 Peter 2:24

~

A Sort of New Year’s Resolution (Listening with Life)

Well, it’s officially 2012… I mean, it was FIRST officially 2012 approximately 25½ hours ago, but you know – who wants to get technical?

Anyway, this is the point at which most people would list their new year’s revolution and all that stuff – which is, of course, awesome, and fun, and healthy, and all that good stuff – but I really don’t feel like plunging into a super-crazy-long list of all the things I could work on in the next year, or an equally longer list of all the things God has taught me in 2011.

That being said, I’ll plunge into this super-crazy-long (but not AS crazy long as those lists) post instead:

God has spoken to me through so many different things in my life, and those things have changed and/or grown over these years (very much so over the past few).

When I was little, it was simple. I went to church, I had all the Sunday school answers, and they were enough. I had my parents (who always loved me). I had my brothers and sisters (who made my life fun). I had my friends (who accepted me as I was and who would always be happy to listen if I felt like storming and crying over the fact that I’d actually been forced to CLEAN my room on a SATURDAY…. You know, all that important stuff x)). I had my church and Sunday school teachers, who taught me stories from the Bible. I had food, people, toys, and love. What more could I ask for?

But as I got older, I started seeing pain. Tears, sorrow, loss. Pain. Just seeing that in the faces of the people I loved hurt me more than you can imagine. And then actually having to go through it, too – it was hard. Maybe harder than people thought, or than I let on. And then I started doubting. And that led to so much more struggle. And to make a long story short, I had to discover a lot of things about myself, the world, and God to get back up on my feet. And what I didn’t realize then, was that God was speaking the entire time, and even further on until the present time.

Yes, God spoke to me, and I promise you, it wasn’t in a loud booming voice in my head that knocked me off my feet. There wasn’t wind whipping back my hair or epic background music playing as I moved in slow motion. It wasn’t even all in one moment. It came gradually, slowly, so that I couldn’t even tell you exactly when it started.

So then, how did God speak? I’m going to make a list (not only because organization is important, but because I absolutely LOVE making lists!! =D). So here it goes.

1. Silence. That’s right, complete, utter, boring old silence. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve stayed awake at night for hours, just thinking about, listening to, and even rejecting God. Life is so full of clutter and chaos, and I know God prodded me awake those nights simply so that I would HAVE to just shut up and listen for once. Prayer is my talking to God – it’s my communicating with Him. But after I’m done talking, I know it’s time to just sit and listen to what He has to say in return, whether I want to hear it or not.
2. The Bible (mainly, but also MANY other books and devotionals) Of course, for a nerd like me, there has to be SOMETHING about books, right? Well, I believe anyone can enjoy these, but the point is, those millions of pages of words have taught me so much. I thank the Lord for a writing system. I really do.
3. My writing. Okay, for those of you who may not know me…. I absolutely adore writing. Actually, it goes beyond that. It sometimes becomes the only way I can sort things out in my head – a way of thought, of speaking out, of expressing myself. Ahem. Let’s just say, it’s hard to explain. But, yes, people say everyone has their own unique interests; Mine would be writing, and I believe God uses that.
4. My family (legitly or adopted =)) How on earth could I leave you all out of this? I’ve truly been blessed with this group of people, and I won’t get all cliché and sappy on you… Actually, yes I will, because I feel like it, and it’s all totally the truth. You – and you know who you are, I hope – You are incredible. You’ve listened to me – always been there, always ready and waiting for me to rant or cry or laugh hysterically at nothing, and you weren’t afraid to join me. So thank you. You’ve opened up to me – trusted me with your secrets, your problems, your insecurities, and that means more to me than you could ever know. So thank you. You’ve stood as examples to me – you’ve showed me so many things, helped me believe what was true (but difficult), and (knowing it or not) taught me what it means to be like Christ, and even what it means to be me. I’m still discovering myself, and you’re all helping me understand more and more of who I am. So thank you.
5. Trials. When I was broken down and crying my eyes out and feeling the grief and the weight of loss and sorrow, I know God was speaking to me, raising me up in my depths. When I found myself rejecting Him, refusing Him, and turned away from all I believed in, I know He was speaking to me, working at my guarded heart, sometimes gently, at other times banging like thunder. But this year, it has been mostly in seeing my life plummet in a moment, having those swift moments of an almost-crumbled life, but for God’s hand of protection. In times like this – as in when my sister was literally run over by a car last January, or when we flipped the car in March, landing in a ditch, or just even random, momentary worries – life becomes very real. I become more aware of the fact that I’m actually BREATHING, that I take for granted everything that makes my life worth it, and so many things that would be impossible or take forever to describe. Oh, goodness. The things you can realize in a moment.
6. Basically everything/everyone I come across in my daily life.

 

God is constantly speaking, showing me things I need to see, and telling me things I need to hear, and convicting me of things I need to change. It’s hard sometimes, but ultimately, I know I need to hear them. So my point is: Keep listening for God in everything you do, and keep growing in Him daily. If you want to hear Him speaking to you, but just aren’t sure where that’s supposed to come from, then I can tell you from experience that a good start is just to sit in silence for a bit. Pray, and then try to think about Him quietly. Don’t get worried if your mind wanders away from the main point, but keep focusing on Him in your constant musings, and, if you are sincere, you’ll find you hear Him speaking more and more.

So I guess, since it is new years, you could say this is my resolution for this year… and every year to follow it. A lifetime resolution, maybe. Yeah, whatever you want to say, but this is my commitment. Pray for me. Please. And challenge yourself to do the same, to not only hear, but to make the change.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Speak out (You are not the only one…)

Have you ever felt like you’re the only one in the world who knows the pain that you’re feeling? Have you ever been scared to death to show someone what you’re feeling because just maybe, they’ll think you’re completely crazy? Have you ever just wanted to talk, and have someone not only listen – but understand?

Yeah, you’re not the only one.

I’ve been there. I’ve been terrified to showing who I am, what I’ve done, how I feel. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I’m not the only one, I can’t bring myself to believe it. I can’t force myself into believing that others know how it feels. I’ve tried, believe me. But every time, I fail.

No, it takes something more. Someone more. Sometimes, I just need someone to break the silence, to say, “Have you ever felt this way? I have.” And that makes me wonder: Can I reach out – help those in need, in pain – simply by revealing to them how I feel? If I got the courage to be the one who speaks out and says, “I feel lost. I feel alone sometimes. I feel like I can never be right again,” then can you imagine the number of voices that just might reply? Maybe a million. Maybe none. Maybe only one or two. But one or two is a start to a million.

So I’m making the decision to stop hiding what I’m feeling. Vulnerability is not weakness, and fear does not set boundaries. Overcome the doubts. Speak out. Be a light in a world of darkness.

Never Alone (“Come To Me…”)

I was talking to a close friend recently. She’s been struggling with some things in her life — struggling with feeling ignored. She said something like this: “Even when I’m with my friends, I’m not included. They ignore me. It’s so hard being alone.”

Then, I didn’t have the words to say.

But now I do.

Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Can it be more simply put?

“He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

You are not alone. He is with you. Always. In the darkest places, on the brightest of days, He is with you. When you were a child afraid of monsters, when you feel abandoned and alone, when you are old and weary, He is with you.

Didn’t He promise us this?

Psalm 56:8 — “You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

Psalm 121:6 — “The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

Hebrews 13:5 — “Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you.”

You. Are. Not. Alone.

When you feel ignored by people, when you feel abandoned and tired of trying so hard to be noticed and loved, come to Him. He will show His truth: the truth that even in the darkest nights, He will always be with you, for “The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

Go to Him, and find rest in His arms.

In the deepest sleep one night I dreamed
that on the beach I walked.
God was by my side each step,
and quietly we talked.
Then on the sky my life was flashed,
the visions all serene.
Two sets of footprints in the sand,
were there in every scene.
But then I noticed in some scenes,
of suffering,pain,and strife……
Just a single set of footprints,
at the worst times of my life.
“God….you said you’d stay by me-
in good times and in bad….
Why then did you leave me-
each time my life was sad?”
“My precious child,” God answered,
“When your life had pain, I knew,
The single set of footprints,
were the times I carried you.”

-Kent Brown (1984)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28~

Won’t Live For Me

This is the third set of my lyrics I’m posting… I’m excited!!

[VERSE 1]

We live in a land where freedom is the key

Live in a land where individuality

Is everything you need in life.

Yeah, we live in a land where everything is ours

Live in a land where we follow our hearts

We can let go of anyone

And an y thing we want to

But I just can’t live for me…

[CHORUS]

So with my life I’ll serve you

And I’ll lift up your name

With my life I’ll follow you

To the very end

With my life, I’ve decided –

Cuz this life you’ve given me –

T’was mine, but now it’s not my own:

Cuz I’m giving it up to…

YOU

[VERSE 2]

The world just keeps on comin’ back to me

They say life is whatever I want it to be

‘Nd I’m everything I need in life.

Yeah, the world just keeps on shoutin’ in my ears

The songs, the movies, and celebrities

We just move on past the problems

And never face the facts

Yeah, but I won’t live for me…

[CHORUS]

So with my life I’ll serve you

And I’ll lift up your name

With my life I’ll follow you

To the very end

With my life, I’ve decided –

Cuz this life you’ve given me –

T’was mine, but now it’s not my own:

Cuz I’ve given it up to…

YOU

[BRIDGE]

To YOU!

Yeah, I’ll trust you –

I’ve made the decision for my life

I’ve given it up to –

Given it up to –

You

[CHORUS]

And with my life I’ll serve you

And I’ll lift up your name

With my life I’ll follow you

To the very end

With my life, I’ve decided –

Cuz this life you’ve given me –

T’was mine, but now it’s not my own:

Cuz I’ve given it up to…

YOU